The De Gruyter


“Who wants to be secretary?” I looked around the room. No one had raised their hand. “The secretary position has no duties whatsoever.” I looked around again. Still, no hands were up, so I slowly raised mine. “Ok, Danny!” Dr. Scheuermann said, making a note on a piece of paper. And that’s how I became […]

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Well Ain’t That Special


This happens more than I’d like to admit. I pick up a random pencil, in this case, from a box containing around two thousand of pencils—a giant mishmash of old and new pencils. I want to write something. Or maybe not even. Maybe I just want to have a pencil in my hand, in case […]

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The Underliner


“Underlining takes a lot less graphite than writing does…” Jimmy Roach would know. He’s an MFA student in Fiction, and is a serious underliner. In fact, he maintains several caches of miniature pencils devoted solely to this purpose–in his car, on his kitchen table, and in his computer bag. He’s always ready to put thin […]

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Holding On


Imagine holding a dozen wooden baseball bats under your arm, day and night, for the next ten years. And how about if, once a week, somebody yanks a bat out from under there? Or jams another two in? Such is the life of a rubber band keeping a bunch of pencils together. It holds on, […]

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Some of the Many Wonders of Pencils


Hey look, I rescued more pencils! (translation: “Hey look, I bought another bag of junk at SAVERS!”) They aren’t bags of junk, though. They’re bags of wonder. For example, I wonder, “Who were the Wissahickons?” And I wonder, “Can I find out who the Wissahickons are without going on the internet?” [We interrupt this program […]

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Pencil Sightings – Kohl’s


Okay. I’ll admit it. Once I wandered around Kohl’s for over an hour debating how to spend a voucher for $10. And, yes, one night I did end up there at 11pm to buy necktie for a wedding the following day. But I swear I didn’t enjoy it. And I haven’t been back there in […]

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Pencil Sightings – Popular Mechanics


Popular Mechanics buried a few gems in their September 2014 issue: ”Special Do-It-Yourself Issue: How To Make Anything.” First up. A sweet tip you might have missed if you forgot to study the masthead page vehehehehry carefully… (You bet I’m going to try this. But, of course, with a hand-powered egg-beater-style drill.) And then on pages […]

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